HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE’S FLAWS AS A CHRISTIAN

Anyone could easily spot a pimple on someone’s cheek, or a dried leaf on a friend’s hair. That’s because no one can see their face, of course without a mirror, so everyone walks around, confident of themselves (or not) until someone who sees below their chin points out a flaw they have.

Sometimes this is done nicely and the one with the flaw takes it in nicely too. Some other time they are not told nicely about their flaws and it gets really hard to swallow.

No one is without flaws.

Scripture puts it in a better way in John’s first epistle: “if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves.”

Yes, some of us are more flawed than others, but one feature every living human has inbuilt, whether young or old, male or female, is imperfection.

As a Christian in a relationship, in a family, and in the social world, interaction with flawed people is inevitable. So how do you deal with people’s flaws? Let’s take a few tips that could help you:

1. SELF CONTROL

It is almost impossible not to get angry or retaliate at people’s flaws, but the fruit of the Holy Spirit brings it closer to our hearts that it’s not about the person’s flaws, it’s about keeping your self under control when those flaws are flaunted in your face.
One way to control self in the face of a glaring flaw is to be “slow to speak, and swift to hear”. Never be in a hurry to talk when you’re angry or irritated at something.

2. GENTLENESS

Handling flaws can be tiring. Adjusting to things you either didn’t know of or overlooked can try even the most gentle of hearts. We must be as gentle as doves. Gentleness towards people’s flaws is not indifference. It is grace to take a blow without hitting back. It is meekness even when you’re on the right.

3. FAITH

Have a little faith. Pray for the person, either your friend, spouse, colleague, employee or boss and believe they’ll change. There is no guarantee they would, especially when they’re not Christians. But while praying for them, believe they will work on themselves. And give them time to do so, one step at a time.

Read: 10 Things To Do As The Year Wraps Up

4. GOODNESS

You have probably figured out we’re talking about the fruit of the spirit from the last to the first. You are right. Now to this next step, goodness is a weapon the Bible instructs we use when bad things are done to us. It “heaps hot coals on their head” is what it says. This is not to make people feel bad about themselves. It does two things in fact. First of all it helps your heart to not allow hurt and anger get to you, but goodness also makes the person with the flaws that get to you to retrace his or her steps and do the right thing. Imagine complaining everyday that your sister not laying the bed after she wakes up. Then you suddenly stopped complaining and you now lay the bed. She would notice your goodness, and if she is sincere, she would adjust and make the bed once or twice a week. That’s progress, isn’t it?

5. PATIENCE

Many times we think it’s our patience being tried when people’s flaws pop at us, but no. The result of whatever goes on in your heart at such a time should be patience. Patience is not waiting to get back at someone, it is giving them a new sheet everytime the mess up.

6. PEACE

This part might be what some do first, but most times they do it wrong. You don’t just make peace by airing out your mind. You make peace by being at peace in your mind first, calming the storm in your heart, talking to the Holy Spirit, then to yourself. After then, make peace with this person. Speak calmly and talk about these things you’ve noticed, not being judgemental, but to yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness.

7. LOVE

You would have expected we’d have started with this, the greatest commandment. Love covers a multitude of sins. Some flaws are not flaws that disappear after many years, or even varnish at all, and sometimes you might just have to live with that boil on their face. One strong antidote to a heavy and tired heart is love. For even as sinners, God loved us and gave himself for us. Learn to live with people’s flaws. One very special line in the Lord’s prayer says, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. Be like your heavenly Father: forgive and love.

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